There are times in your life as an adult when you might realize that you want more of a social life – or that you need more friends. This is often the case after a painful divorce, or after you’ve moved to a new city. If you’re struggling to make new friends as an adult, or you’re looking for ways to increase your popularity in your current situation, look no further.
Whether you’re looking to make new friends, or you want to become more popular in your social circle, there are lots of ways to do it. In fact, life as an adult is all about relationships – from the people you work with, to the people you live with, to the people you date. Being more popular will not only make you feel better about yourself, but it can also make things easier for you on a day-to-day basis.
There’s no magic answer to becoming more popular, but there are some things you can do to be a more appealing person. Popular people tend to be more confident and comfortable with themselves. In this article, we’ll discuss ways that you can become more confident, make yourself more likable, and build friendships with others.
Why would you want to be more popular?
So why would you want to be more popular anyway? It might sound a little shallow, but popularity can be great for your health. Studies have shown that having friends and family who are close by can lengthen your lifespan and make you happier, healthier, and more optimistic. Popular people also have greater job satisfaction and success!
Being popular seems like something that most adults wouldn’t concern themselves with – but the truth is that most people enjoy being known and loved. As the old Cheers theme song goes, we all want to go to a place where “everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came.” So how do you manage that?
How can you become popular as an adult?
Well, we all know at least a couple of people that everyone seems to love. If you’ve never thought about it, you might not be aware of the personality traits that universally likable people have in common.
With a little tweaking, everyone can adopt at least a couple of these personality traits and instantly become more popular.
Don’t worry. You won’t have to change your basic personality. A little awareness about what’s likable (and what isn’t) might be all you need.
What can you do to be more popular as an adult?
Develop a more pleasant version of your personality and boost your social life with these techniques. Here’s how:
This is the easiest way to be more popular, and one of the most effective ways as well. You can’t be a people person if you’re not friendly. Be willing to get out of your comfort zone, and meet new people.
Don’t Judge Others
It’s easy to form opinions about other people based upon their appearance or behavior – but remember that these opinions may be wrong. Treat others with respect as individuals, and don’t make assumptions about them based on what they look like or how they act. If you let other people know that you accept them for who they are, they’ll be much more likely to accept you in return!
Make Eye Contact
If you look someone in the eye when they’re talking to you, it shows that you’re engaged in what they’re saying and interested in them as a person. This can be enough to spark a friendship with someone at first glance; eye contact is something that dating experts even recommend.
Smile, even when it’s hard! It might seem obvious, but smiling at the right times can go a long way towards making friends in any situation. Smiling shows that you’re happy and friendly, and can even prevent others from seeing your mistakes in a negative light; this is why professional poker players often smile while they lose!
It’s hard to connect with someone if they don’t know that they’re interesting; once they know they’ve caught your attention
Focus on the good things about the people in your life.
No one likes to be criticized. Few people like unsolicited advice. You’ll be more appealing to more people if you keep all of your negative opinions to yourself. This also applies to criticizing third parties. When you tell someone how much you dislike someone else’s clothes, car, home, or anything else, it takes away from your own likeability factor.
Avoid unnecessary negativity in your conversations.
Complaining about movies, restaurants, the weather, your boss, your partner, or your weight isn’t pleasant for others. People generally don’t have a positive view of negative people. Be positive or be quiet.
Don’t gossip about people.
Some people love to talk about others. These people are generally unlikeable. If your own life isn’t interesting enough to be a topic of conversation, it’s time to get busy working on your life. Gossiping is poor form, to put it mildly.
Be an excellent listener.
We love people that really pay attention and listen to what we have to say. Maintain excellent eye contact and put away your phone when someone is speaking to you. This one tip can make you a lot more popular. When you give someone your undivided attention, you make them feel important. People love the people that make them feel important.
Do what you say you will.
Be reliable. Unreliable people are resented. Do what you say you’re going to do. Be where you say where you’re going to be. Be on time.
Be truly curious – ask lots of questions.
Show genuine interest. One way to show genuine interest is to be a great listener. Another way is to ask questions. When you ask someone what they did over the weekend or how their softball games turned out, you’re showing interest.
Be a nice person.
Be open and friendly. Say “hi” to others. Have open body language. You know what a friendly and kind person is like. Be like that.
Be open-minded and don’t judge.
When you’re open-minded, you’ll be much less likely to criticize or complain. You’re also easier to talk to because others know that you won’t judge them. Judgmental people are never fun to spend time around.
Be reasonably supportive when appropriate.
Everyone has challenges, and everyone could use a little support. Support and encourage others and people will love you for it.
Everyone likes to have fun. If people know they’re going to have a good time when you’re around, there will be a lot of people that want to spend time with you.
Make people feel good.
This is the number one quality to have if you want people to like you. If they feel better after spending time with you, they will want to spend more time with you.
Conversely, if they feel worse after spending time with you, they’ll want to stay away. It’s like food that tastes good to you versus one that tastes bad.
Review this list and pick out a couple of things that stand out to you. Also, pay attention to those people that everyone seems to like. What do you think it is that people like about them?
Just a few small changes will make a bigger difference than you think. If people enjoy spending time with you, they’ll keep coming back for more
The secret to being more popular is generally easier than you would imagine – it’s just a matter of consciously making the choice to give, and then putting those actions into place. Does this mean that it’s always effective? Not necessarily, but you’ll find that being a friend to others, sharing ideas and information freely, can lead to new experiences, new life lessons (and yes, even new friends) that you never thought were possible.