“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life but define yourself.” ~Harvey Fierstein
If you’ve experienced being bullied as a kid or even as an adult in a toxic relationship, you might struggle with accepting yourself and being true to who you are.
Sure, it is nice to be accepted by others. And you wouldn’t be human if you didn’t want to fit in so you don’t end up the one who stands out like a sore thumb – at least on some occasions.
So it makes sense that, if you do what you can to fit in, you will have a tribe to lean onto – or so you think. Unfortunately, there can be some problems with that. First of all, when you are wanting to gain the acceptance of others for the sake of fitting in, you are often doing so at the expense of your own beliefs and needs.
In other words, you’re putting aside who you are in order to seem more like others around you. Whether consciously or not, people tend to sense something’s off when you do this.
Some of those people will see that you are doing what you can to gain acceptance and then lose respect for you. They won’t stand by you. And the ones who do are often not the ones you really want or need in your life. They are not the ones you want in your tribe.
This is why, as hard as it may be in some situations, you only want to be true to yourself, and to your beliefs and needs. Because if you are not living your truth and you are doing things only for the purpose of making others happy, you will be very unhappy and you are not respecting yourself either.
How to Be True to Yourself in 5 Easy Steps
Let’s now look at how you can be true to yourself and why it is important that you do.
1. Always Follow Your Own Value System
Everyone has a set of values that is unique to them. As long as you are using common sense and your value system does not have anything to do with causing harm to others – respect your own and follow your own, always! Unconditional self-acceptance is the key.
2. Develop, Love, And Appreciate Your Gifts
We are all unique, and everyone has a set of gifts. Don’t ever ignore any of yours because you fear that someone else may not like what you have to offer. There will always be someone out there who does not agree with what you do. For instance, if you are a talented rune reader but you are afraid that your gift could offend someone who doesn’t believe in it and you quell it, who are you hurting? Yourself!
Accept the fact that there will be others out there who will not appreciate your gifts but there are plenty of others who do and need your help which means your gift is needed! Most importantly, as long as you value and appreciate what you have to offer, then hold onto that.
3. Always Stand Up For What You Believe in
The worst thing to do is to not stand up for what you believe in for the sake of pleasing others. Everyone will have a set of beliefs and a set of their own truths. Be sure to stick to your own whether it has to do with religion, spirituality, or parenting – never compromise any of it in order to make someone else happy.
4. You Should Listen To Other People’s Advice But Always Make Up Your Own Mind
if you are unclear about something, you should ask the advice of others who are experienced in whatever it is you need clarification on. Get second or third opinions as well if you feel you need to. But in the end, what matters the most is you making up your own mind based on the advice you have been given.
5. Be Proud Of Who You Are And Be Genuine About Who You Are
Remember that everyone is one of a kind. Be proud of your uniqueness, and what you have to offer, and live your truth. Because there is no other way to live if you want to live your life to the fullest.
Remember one last thing: Being different is a gift. Embrace it. And you will enrich others when you are being true to yourself.