“I attract to my life whatever I give my attention, energy and focus to, whether positive or negative.” ~Michael Losier

Do you often find yourself thinking, “Wow. Life is unfair!” (or something of that nature)? Do you ever feel like you NEVER get what you really want in life? Do you feel unlucky or even cursed? If so, you’re not alone – and this article is for you.

As it turns out, a lot of people struggle with the idea of being able to design their own lives. Whether it’s due to a religious belief that conflicts with the law of attraction or it’s because they just feel really unlucky, these unfortunate people tend to just go with the flow: they go through each day as if they are floating in a stream at the mercy of whatever comes their way.

Now that sounds nice enough, floating down a stream, but the truth is that in this particular illustration, you don’t want to just be carried along – you want to be the one who swims toward what they want.

This next part is going to sting a little, but please push through it and keep reading. It’s important.

The Hard Truth About Why Life is Unfair

Here’s the truth: life IS unfair sometimes. But you might be surprised when you find out WHY that’s the case. You might want to take a deep breath before you read this next part.

While what I’m about to tell you is harsh and might sound painful and even completely untrue, it is something you must understand if you’re ever going to start getting what you want.

If life isn’t turning out the way you hoped or expected it would, you are the only one at fault. (Wait! Don’t click away yet – I am going to explain, I promise!)

One unfortunate fact I think we can both agree on: our society is flawed and often toxic. This can lead to growing up in toxic families or communities. As a result, many of us grow up being told or shown that our thoughts and feelings don’t matter. We are controlled by our parents and our teachers and on some level, our friends and other peers.

We infer that we don’t have the right to even want things the way we want them, much less actually GET what we want. We are told to be humble, to accept what crumbs we’re given (and damn well like it!). We are told that to want more for ourselves is selfish. We watch as people praise the overworked, stressed-out woman who is always “doing” for others and never herself. We see these same people look down the nose of the blissed-out woman who is passionate about what she does for a living, who wakes up early to meditate, gets a weekly massage and mani/pedi. The one who seems to actually be enjoying her life. Her, they call stuck-up, selfish, materialistic.

This teaches us that sacrificing our own health and sanity is preferred to actually taking care of ourselves and following our passions. Lack of sleep, excessive stress and general lack of inspiration seem to be praised by society. Humble-bragging is a thing now.  Self-love is scoffed at and minimized.

Their battle cry goes something like this: I’m a stressed-out, miserable, unsatisfied person. You too? Well, join the club. We’re all trying so hard and still getting nowhere. Man, we just can’t catch a break. I feel you, fellow stressed-out, miserable, unsatisfied person. Life sucks.

Then, of course, life goes on. We deal with landlords, bosses, loan officers, police, politicians, doctors, tax men and other kinds of “authority figures” who teach us that if we don’t do what we’re told, we are going to start hating our lives in one way or another.

Once again, we learn that we aren’t really the ones in control of our lives. So we just go with what we’ve got going – and we end up feeling like we have no way to control ANYTHING in our lives. We start developing coping techniques to deal with the lackluster lives to which we think we’re doomed.

In other words, we’re taught we don’t have control over what happens to us, and until we wake up and realize that we do.

Unfortunately, many of us don’t do that until we’re well into a painful, dull, less-than-satisfying life. And then we’re shoulder-deep into that life. We might have kids with someone who isn’t good for us. We might be working crappy jobs and living in crappy places. But here’s the beautiful thing: recognizing that you DO have some control is the first step to actually getting what you want in life. And from there? it’s almost easy.

Here’s How You Can Start Getting What YOU Want in Life

The good news is that this can be remedied. First, you have to understand why you’re not getting everything you want out of life at this time. Most people do nothing more than have a general inkling of how they want their life to be in the end.

They hope to have a wonderful relationship, plenty of money, and good health. Those are certainly admirable goals to work toward, but they are nowhere near comprehensive enough to call them a vision for your future.

A true vision is detailed and very specific in terms of not only what you want, but how you’ll get it. Once you have a vision, and you’ve taken time to truly think through everything in detail, you still have to take action on making it a reality.

Some people work hard on creating a vision but stop short of creating an action plan. Not only do you need to have the steps and strategies mapped out for implementing your vision, but you may want to consider alternative plans in case anything goes wrong along the way.

You can’t just create a vision and then expect it to magically come true. You have to understand that realizing your goals can sometimes take a lot of effort, be frustrating, and drain you of your time and energy.

If you’re willing to go the extra mile to get what you want and deserve, it will be worth it in the end. You may not be achieving your desires in life because you simply don’t believe in yourself. With the law of attraction, you are required to live life as if what you want to happen is already a reality.

Suffering from extreme self-doubt can sabotage your efforts and prevent you from living your life as you see fit. Some people are sitting on the sidelines hoping their life will turn out okay as they keep waiting for fate to intervene.

What they don’t realize is that their fate is determined by their level of commitment and their ability to adhere to an action plan. All the wishing in the world can’t compete with what you yourself act on in life.

Some people are prevented from getting the life they want because they continually sabotage their own efforts. They may make a little progress but then backslide due to laziness, self-doubt, or other reasons.

If you can get out of your own way and adopt the principles found in the law of attraction, then you will be able to manifest any destiny you see fit. Above all else, take personal responsibility for your journey so that you have a fighting chance of success.

Don’t stop here! Keep Going!